Sunday, June 27, 2010

Horny Couple Seeks Roomie

I had no idea how much longer this exchange was going to go on.  This couple came across as either very very desperate, very very horny, or both.  Whatever the case they were completely unflappable.  I hard a hard time finding my way out of this and I finally just gave up.


Original Ad:

$250 iso white female roomie **1st MONTH FREE RENT** 

late 30's couple iso white female roommate. Can be a college student or just female looking for a place to crash. 

MUST be VERY open minded, 420 friendly, and no felonies. alternative lifestyle a plus. response must include name/contact #/location attn:Debbie or Todd 

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To: Debbie/Todd
From: Jacky



I didn't think I would actually run across an ad like yours when I went looking on C-list.  I just moved from DC to Smyrna to help out with my ailing Granny, but there's two deadbeat Uncles living there that I don't care to be around when I'm trying to sleep.  I was hoping to find a room for rent nearby.  
My name is Jacky. I'm 28, white, well educated and very open-minded.  I am most definitely "420 friendly" and have never been convicted of a felony.  (I do have a misdemeanor charge from five years ago, but that was in Maryland.) 
As for "alternative lifestyles", I'm into that too.  
Please get back in touch with me if  you're interested and/or if this room is still available. 
xoxoxoxoxoxo,
Jacky 
 =================================================================

To: Jacky 
From: Deb

Hi Jacky,
Yes..we (me and fiance todd) are very interested in speaking with you further.  please send me a contact # and we will be in touch.
thanks,
debbie
=========================================================================

To: Deb
From: Jacky



Debs,
I'm in the process of getting my cell phone number changed from a DC area code to a local one.  As soon as I get that number I'll send it along.
I was thinking however if you meant something different by "420 friendly"?  At first I thought you meant route 420 in Alexandria Virginia, but that wouldn't make sense now would it?  Or maybe it does.
What sort of alternative lifestyles are you interested in?  I like The CureDepeche Mode, REM, Ministry, bands like that.  I used to love watching 120 Minutes on MTV back in the day.  I guess you could say I'm "120 friendly" too!
Jacky
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To: Jacky
From: Deb

actually...thats not quite what I had in mind?  420 usually means...well..I've leave that for a conversation in person.
tell me more about you...pics?  I can still call you on a DC cell # if you like.
in my case...420 means whatever I can get my hands on to smoke and i'm a bifemale.
any problems with either one...let me know.

deb
=================================================================

To: Deb
From: Jacky



Dab,
I didn't realize 420 meant that!  That must be a new thing.  What a relief because I'm baked out of my fucking mind right now! 
One of my dumbass uncles is out with my cell phone right now getting it changed over.  I'm sure there will be stops by several nudie bars along the way.  
I'll try to scan a picture to send along to you while I'm waiting. 
Jacky
PS--What's a bifemail?
=========================================================================

To: Jacky
From: Deb

LOL...a bifemale is a female who likes being with both males and females.  baked out of your mind...what do ya mean by that???
sure..go ahead and send a pic..that would be great!
just curious....do you have big boobs?

Deb
=================================================================

To: Deb
From: Jacky



Beb,
Sorry to keep you waiting, but my dumbass Uncle Louie is still out with my phone.  He's such a shitweasel.  Anyway, here's a photo of me.  It was taken at a party I went to right before I moved down here.  Hee hee I was sooo wasted!  

I'll be in touch soon
Jacky

=====================================================================

To: Deb
From: Jacky

Deeb,
Finally have my new phone number yay!  It's 404-xxx-xxxx.  Give me a call and we'll talk!
Jacky

[The number was actually a local Suicide Prevention Hotline]


========================================================================

To: Jacky
From: Deb

thats a wrong #...rings to some weird office.
try that number again.
deb



========================================================================


To: Deb
From: Jacky

Dev,
That's the number my Uncle wrote down.  If he's pranking me I'm going to fucking rip his dick off!  

Jesus you guys must be horny...
Did you get the picture I sent?  If not, I just found a better one that I took two weeks ago.

========================================================================


To: Jacky
From: Deb

yes...got the first pic..but its very faded.
please send the 2nd pic. 

deb



=========================================================================


To: Deb
From: Jacky


Doob,
I hope this is a better quality shot...BTW, you could send me one too...


























========================================================================


To: Jacky
From: Deb


Look...I'm not into games.  either be serious with us or forget it.

deb



========================================================================


To: Deb
From: Jacky

Devo,
I'm not into games either!  So are we going to do it or what?  
J
========================================================================

To: Jacky
From: Deb

contact #??

3 comments:

Debs said...

Haha yes we're still going to "do it"! I'm an ugly bitch to!

gluesbiffr888 said...

You shoulda said you have herpes!

Anonymous said...

I thought the methed out tranny was funny til I saw the fat chick with the Hulk hands. ROTFLMAO!!!