Original ad:
Wanted: Brazil Butt Lift
DVDsIf you have any unused or used in great condition, please get back to me. I'll pay up to $40. Thanks.
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To: Elanor
From: Jacky
Hi there,
I saw your ad and I'd love to help. I don't have the exact title you're looking for, but I have quite a collection of similar DVDs
that I'm looking to sell. I was just going to sell them on E-bay
, but if you're interested I can send you my list of titles and see if there are some you might be interested in.Jacky Maille
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To: Jacky
From: Elanor
Jacky,
Thanks for answering my ad! You're the only person who's replied to me lol! I'm looking for that specific DVD set, Brazil Butt Lift. Send me your list and I'll see if theres any that I can use or maybe use as christmas presents as long as there in good condition.
Elanor Rxxxxxx
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To: Elanor
From: Jacky
Elanor,
I can assure you that all my DVDs are in pristine
condition. I'm very proud of my collection but circumstances beyond my control are forcing me to part ways with them. Here's my list:Puerto Rican Big Booty Shake
Big, Black, and Beautiful
Big Booty Lesbos in Hawaii
Big Booty Lesbos in Hollywood
A Beautiful Behind
American Booty
Buttman & Throbbin
Backdoor Adventures of Beaver and Butthead
Gulp Fiction
Hump Backed at Notre Dame
Lord of the G-Strings (Big Butt Special Edition)
Star Whores
: The Empire Licks CrackThey Came From the Planet Butt
Wonka's Willy and The Fudge Packery
White Men Can't Hump
If you're interested in any or all of these, let me know. I'll give you a great deal on some or all of them.
Jacky
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To Jacky
From: Elanor
I am not amused.
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To: Elanor
From: Jacky
Elaine,
Hey, I'm not amused either. After I got fired from my job at the daycare center, I was forced to move back into my mom's basement. She's one of those religious
freaks who thinks her house is "unclean
" because of my DVD collection so she's forcing me to get rid of them. Listen, I'll sell you all 15 for $30. That's like two bucks a title! And Lord of the G-Strings is a three disc set, so it's an even better deal. Let me know!Jacky
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To: Jacky
From: Elanor
OMG! I'm not surprised you got fired from your job you fucking perv! And at a daycare center! Go away and leave me alone before I report you to the sex offenders list!
that I'm looking to get rid of. You might say it's been 
. It's yours for ten bucks. You can pick it up today if you're interested. Also, I can do better than just a picture. I'm attaching a video of me and my boys showing the many uses this ottoman has.
.
and it's clean. On second thought, I've decided not to sell it. I just can't bear the thought of my ottoman in someone else's house getting humped by some stranger who doesn't love it the way me and my homeboys do. 
into action. The result wasn't quite what I expected, but it's good to know that Jacky Maille is high up on Google's search engine. 
online! My 
Puddytat (AKC Registered) was studded out to an 
) last June. Several weeks ago, Puddytat whelped 6 Cock Retriever pups. 3 Male 4 Female.
that's sweeping the Nation. It's a can't miss 
. If I were you, I'd take out a title loan on your truck or minivan or whatever in order to cough up the cash. You're looking at having a litter of six to eight puppies that you can sell for a $1000 each. Trust me when I say that in five years, no self-respecting 
is going to be without his very own Cock Retriever. I still have two females left, so if you're still interested please let me know by the end of the week!
. I'm hoping to have another litter early next year when Puddytat recovers, and I will contact you when that happens. In the meantime, 
bless you!
, Ohio with stores all across the United States. Like many retailers, they have their own generic brand-name products on the shelves alongside the major label goods. The following is an unedited correspondence I had with Kroger's "Consumer 
" Department concerning their labeling on a can of olives. Remember dear reader: Jacky Maille is always on the lookout for you, the consumer! Enjoy!
. I thought to myself, "My what a tasty snack that would make!" So I purchased the can and went home. I opened up the can and emptied it out in a 
, eagerly anticipating my newfound Mediterranean feast. It was all olives. No pasta. No roasted red peppers. Nothing but olives. I returned to the same location the next day and bought another can, thinking perhaps I had a defective can. But alas, same thing: olives only. I feel as though I have been defrauded by your labeling and packaging company. I had every intent to purchase a canned mouth-watering olive-pasta-red pepper treat. Instead, I only got olives.
resolution on this whole deal.
when I was
It's something I'm very sensitive about. Anyway, from now on I know that whenever I buy a Kroger Brand product, I'm only going to get a third of what is depicted on the label. Thank you for clearing this up for me. 
? Hey, maybe you could have previews of upcoming DVD releases on them. Just an idea. Hey, good luck with that ice cream 
head...
at a police auction. It's a slightly 
, but it should seat your family fairly comfortably. I'm sure you could probably take your dog with you too.
.
:
on it, but it is in tip-top shape. It's previous owners were a group of college dropouts who took it all over the country, working odd 
here and there. They were finally busted here in Georgia for running a mobile meth-lab out of the back. 
thing is haunted. My 
out when I take him for a ride in it.