Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Trailer Trash Roommate





Original ad:


Hello, my fiancee and I are living in a 2 bedroom/1 bath mobile home, very clean
and we have 3 dogs.
They are very good with children, and other dogs. We will take care of the
electric and water bills.
You can pay either $110 a week or $350 a month!

===============================================

To: Whitney
From: Jacky

Hello there,

I saw your ad on Craigslist. I live in the area but I'm going to be needing new
digs soon. If your room is still available, let me know and we can trade
whatever pertinent info we need to share

Thanks,
Jacky Maille

==============================================

To: Jacky
From: Whitney

It is still available. give me a call 404-xxx-xxxx

Whitney

==============================================

To: Whitney
From: Jacky

Whitney,
Thanks for getting back in touch with me. Right now, my soon-to-be-ex has my phone so calling is a bit difficult right now. Basically, I need to be out by the first of the month. He doesn't seem to have a problem with all the great meth that I can score for him, but he keeps picking fights with me over my drinking. So what if I like to go out and party until last call and then bring home random men and women for hot rough sex? I can't help it if I'm loud. That shitweasel needs to go out and get a fucking job if he knows what good for him. I don't do meth myself, but I like to smoke pot and drink. Sorry if I'm going off on a rant here. I'm just so frustrated with that deadbeat limp-dicked motherfucker and I'm ready for some peace and quiet.

I am responsible. I work a full-time job as a dog groomer (didn't you say you had dogs?) so paying my rent on time isn't an issue. I also like to cook big meals (I get the munchies a lot) and I keep my space very clean.

So what's yall's story?

Jacky

==============================================

To: Jacky
From: Whitney

My mother in-law said that this will not work out, we can't have pot in the house.


===============================================

To: Whitney
From: Jacky

Whitey,

That mother-in-law of yours sounds like a real buzzkill, if you know what I mean. That's okay, I can leave it in my truck and smoke it in there. Of course, that will mean a lot of trips out to my truck, but no worries. I keep all my guns in there too. Speaking of which, do you have a lot of land out that way? I like to shoot at Mountain Dew cans on the weekends.

Jacky

================================================

To: Jacky
From: Whitney

Nah, someone's fucking around on craigslist..probably a little high school kid.
And my mil, is the fuckin' shit. GTFO

================================================

To: Whitney
From: Jacky

Whistney,

I can assure you that if I were some high school kid with no life, I'd be all over some porn right now and not trolling Craigslist. I mean, who does that?
Seriously, when would be a good time to meet up?

Jacky

================================================

To: Jacky
From: Whitney


The second tuesday of next week.

================================================

To: Whitney
From: Jacky

Winky,
Wow. Aren't you just a clever and original bitch!
With that attitude, you're never going to find a roommate for your white-trash trailer. I'll look elsewhere, thank you very much. Good luck.

Jacky

=================================================

To: Jacky
From: Whitney

that was not me! that was the mil .....

=================================================

To: Jacky
From: Whitney


And it's def not white trash, it's on a 2 acre lot with one surrounding trailer. Sorry to burst your bubble.

=================================================

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I used to rent that room, and those people are soooo boring. The dogs can't even stay awake long enough to dry hump the couch.

Menuge Keotki said...

This might be your best one yet! (I still like the Japanese Mail Order Bride too). That Whitney chick didn't know when to give up. And what a bitchy mother in law! People who rent out rooms in trailers shouldn't be so picky!

Popanator said...

I loled! That was great!