Sunday, May 30, 2010

Gun for Trade

None of the following exchanges went the way I was hoping. I sincerely doubt that the dude really called the cops on me. I certainly have not committed a crime here (they haven't outlawed being an idiot yet, have they?). Although, I would have to question the legality of bartering guns on Craigslist.
Anyway, just to help make sense of what you're about to read, Dxxxxxx is the guy with the ad (I'm not going to reveal his name or anything. Judging by his e-mail address, he's probably not too well put together mentally.)Both Jacky & Rosie Maille are me.



Original Ad:
tokarev 9mm for trade
i'm looking to trade my 9mm for a 22 or 25 in pistol or revolver ! may consider rifle or shotgun !


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To:Dxxxxxx
From: Jacky Maille
Subj: Tokarev 9mm for trade
Hey there,

I was wondering if I could maybe just borrow that gun to shoot my whore of a wife.

Jacky

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To: Jacky
From: Dxxxxxx
re: tokarev 9mm for trade

i just called the police where i live to give them this email you just sent me ! what a fucking idiot ! they will find and arrest you for makeing that stupid statement !!!!!!! and damn idiot now i'll have to go to your trial

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To: Jacky
cc: Dxxxxxx
From: Rosie Maille
Subj: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE

FUCK YOU JACKY. YOU DON'T HAVE THE GODDAMN BALLS TO SHOOT ME. YOURE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO HAVE A GUN YOU WORTHLESS PEICE OF SHIT!!

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To: Rosie
cc: Dxxxxxx
From: Jacky
re: tokarev 9mm for trade

What the hell are you doing on the computer Rosie? I figured you'd be downtown sucking some bums dick. I wasn't even going to really get that gun, except to maybe shoot myself. Anything to get away from you.

Dude, I have to apologize for my wife. I was just messing around. Depression will do that to a man. Especially when you've been married to a worthless whore of a wife for 16 years.

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To: Jacky
From: Dxxxxxx
re: tokarev 9mm for trade

i'm sorry but i already emailed the message to the police and just got off the phone with them ! dude that was the most stupid thing you could have done ! i don't care what the fuck your wife has done you don't make statements like that and i just got a call there sending a officer to my house to see the message you sent ! i'll also have to show them your last reply also !

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To: Jacky
cc: Dxxxxxx
From: Rosie
re: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE

FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU JACKY YOU WORTHLESS SHITSTAIN. WE BOTH KNOW DAMN WELL YOU DON'T HAVE THE GONARDS TO SHOOT ME, YOURSELF OR ANYONE ELSE. YOU CAN'T EVEN KILL A DAMN SPIDER IN THE BATHROOM. GO TO HELL, JACKY!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Dxxxxxx
cc: Rosie
From: Jacky
re: tokarev 9mm for trade

I'll just go ahead and apologize right now. I don't even know how to use a gun anyway. If you have some sturdy rope that I can hang myself from though, that'd be great. And I'd also like to apologize for my wife. I wish I could offer some explanation as to her issues, but even Sigmund Freud would be confused.

As for you, Rosie, I can't believe you're actually on a computer and not blowing Roger down the street again. You wouldn't know how to use a fucking gun either. You'd probably shoot a hole in the ceiling because your mouth would be crammed full of hobo dick.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Jacky
From: Dxxxxxx
re: tokarev 9mm for trade

you can act like an idiot all you want but you want be laughing after while ! you fucked your on self shit for brains ! bye
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