The Black Lips: Satan's New Musical Messengers

Original ad:


I need 1 to 2 tickets to the Black Lips/Deerhunter show at the eyedrum on dec 30th NOW! Willing to negotiate good money for it! I'm traveling 8 hours just to go to this show all in good faith! Please help if you know anyone going! Thank you! 


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To: Gabriel
From:  Jacky Maille

Dear The Black Lips Fan,

I seriously hope you're not going to hitchhike for 8 hours to see a The Black Lips in concert.  Are you truly aware of the evil that they cause?  Their music promotes Satanism, homosexuality, bestiality, masturbation,  and a host of other demonic sins.   You may as well attend a Black Mass in the fiery pits of Hell conducted by Satan himself.

The Black Lips concerts begin with the band leading the audience in a chant of passages from the Necronomicon, trying to raise the spirit of their dark master Cthulu. At some point during the show, each band member removes their pants and begins to masturbate on the audience.  When they achieve orgasm, they spray the audience with their devil slime which is a cue for the rest to follow suit.  Do you seriously want to be in the middle of 1,000 people with their genitals exposed and rubbing away?  Not to mention everyone there is on drugs.

The lead singer will often sodomize the bassist throughout the show.  The audience is usually unaware as they are at this point having a drug fueled orgy on the floor.  The Black Lips conclude each show by sacrificing a dog or cat that they have stolen from a local animal shelter to their lord and master Satan.

My church group has been picketing these Devil Masses for years now.  Anytime we are able to prevent even one person from being corrupted by these awful Satanmongers, we feel we have saved a soul for Jesus.  I will be praying for you.  I hope that the lord Jesus Christ will turn your eyes and ears away from the Devil and his evil band.  I would highly suggest you read your Bible and listen to more wholesome music like Reba McEntire and Toby Keith.  I understand what it's like to be young and confused.  I was once like you until someone showed me the path to pure salvation.

Good Luck to you, and may Jesus shine his glorious light on you and point you in the right direction.

Jacky Maille

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To: Jacky

From: Gabriel

Wow seriously lady you are crazy!!!  You dont know whow all kinds of wrong you are! Black Lips aren ATHEISTS and dont even beleive in god or satan so they cant be bad like that!!  And just becuse they kiss once during that ONE SONG!!! doen't mean theyre homosexual or gay.  Theyre making fun of the people who are CONDMMING them!  

Im on my way I already Got my TICKETS  waiting 4 me, so if ur chooch group[ is waiting 4 us we dont give a FUCK about u!  BAD KIDS!!!!

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To: Gabriel

From: Jacky

Dude,

I'm just cranking you, man.  I have never even heard of The Black Lips until I saw your ad online.  Then I checked out some of their tracks on MySpace and youtube, and HOLY SHIT!!11!  The Black Lips are just awful!

I'm just trying to have fun.  This is my first internet.

Jacky

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To: Jacky

From: Gabriel

No way lady.  THEY JUSY KISSS.  Fucki you its not gay it's pissing you off!!!