Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Lady Gaga is a Dude




Original Ad:


i am looking for 2 lady gaga tickets, please-looking to pay a reasonable price..for seats...
thanks 


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To: Jamie
From: Jacky

If you're looking for tickets for "Lady" Gaga's show on April 18 at the Gwinnett Center, I can help.  I have two tickets for that concert and I absolutely refuse to attend, so I'm more than happy to sell them.  They're General Admission on the floor if that's okay with you.

Let me know.

Jacky

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To: Jacky
From: Jamie

omg!!! yes absolutely i would love to have thos tickets!  how much do you want? and why don't you want ot go see lady gaga in concert...she's completely awesome?


if your talking about the rumors that shes gay or whatever...they arent true


she's not a lesbian...she's bi sexual


her music is awesome!!!


she's a great role model...she's prod of herself


she's a fan of androdgeny and likes the gender bender thing and that definitely started the rumors...


she said --when a guy says, oh I ****** all these chicks this week, there’s a high-five and giggling. But when a woman does it and it’s publicised or she’s open about her sexuality or she’s free, or liberated, it’s, Oh, she must have a ****. There’s a threat. i also carry myself onstage in a masculine way and sing in a low register. this is not out of nowhere, right?


she has also said she has a larger than normal clitorris


shegives us freedom in her music in a way that a others cant...


whatever the rumors are...i don't care 


i hope this helps clear things up for you...i would still like to buy those tickets from you if they are at a fair price...
thanks



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To: Jamie
From: Jacky

Here's the thing:  Lady Gaga is a dude.  Not that I have anything against cross-dressing and the trans-gendered.  In fact, some of my best friends are fruits.  Back in the day, I was a Boy George fan.  He was about as effeminate as they got back then, but at least he never claimed to be a female when in fact, he had a penis.

But as long as we're making lists (pardon my usage of capital letters):

I once met Lady Gaga.  I kept thinking to myself, "Please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection!"  But she did.

At a recent Lady Gaga concert, the bomb squad had to evacuate the arena due to a "suspicious package" on the stage.

The song "Poker Face" is about her screwing a dude but wishing she were with a chick.  Ironically, so is the dude.

On her upcoming album she covers a Pussycat Dolls song, with her own spin on it; It's called "Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hung Like Me".

She wrote her song "Bad Romance" about the first time she whipped her dick out on a guy.

Her meat dress brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, "It looks like you're wearing your mom's curtains."

She refuses to use a cell phone because she's afraid to get a brain tumor.  Because you know, one swelling organ is enough, am I right?

I dared my wife to go as Lady Gaga to a costume party, but she didn't have the balls.

I will admit though, I was impressed by her meat dress.  She did a good job of hiding her sausage.
Lady Gaga's 'meat dress' caused a stir this week (Pic: AFP)



Also, I just checked, and the concert is not sold out yet (which restores my faith, albeit slightly, in the intelligence of the Atlanta populace).  You can still buy your own and not have to go through the hassle of negotiating with assholes on the internet.  Trust me, there's a ton of them out there...

Good luck to you, young Jamie.  You never specified your gender, but then again, you yourself said that Lady Gaga is a role model.  My only advice is to be yourself, and don't be afraid of your shift key.

Eternally,

Jacky Maille
Paparazzi!
Lady Gaga

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To: Jacky
From: Jamie

F*** yOU!!!  how do you like my shift key now you f***ing troll!!!

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To: Jacky
From: Jamie

and don't bother replying because i blocked your email...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Everyone knows gaga has a tiny dick already. ur a year and a half behing the times fool!

Menuge Keotki said...

Thank you Jacky for compiling all the best Lady gaga jokes on one easy convienent page. I used to have to go all over the internet, now if I need a quick Gaga joke, I'll just come here! You're aweswome!

Romisto said...

"some of my best friends are fruits"

FTW!!!