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Showing posts with label DVD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DVD. Show all posts

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Brazil Butt Lift



Original ad:


Wanted: Brazil Butt Lift DVDs
If you have any unused or used in great condition, please get back to me. I'll pay up to $40. Thanks.

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To: Elanor
From: Jacky

Hi there,

I saw your ad and I'd love to help.  I don't have the exact title you're looking for, but I have quite a collection of similar DVDs that I'm looking to sell.  I was just going to sell them on E-bay, but if you're interested I can send you my list of titles and see if there are some you might be interested in.

Jacky Maille

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To: Jacky
From: Elanor

Jacky,
Thanks for answering my ad! You're the only person who's replied to me lol!  I'm looking for that specific DVD set, Brazil Butt Lift.  Send me your list and I'll see if theres any that I can use or maybe use as christmas presents as long as there in good condition.

Elanor Rxxxxxx

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To: Elanor
From: Jacky

Elanor,
I can assure you that all my DVDs are in pristine condition.  I'm very proud of my collection but circumstances beyond my control are forcing me to part ways with them.  Here's my list:

Puerto Rican Big Booty Shake
Big, Black, and Beautiful
Big Booty Lesbos in Hawaii
Big Booty Lesbos in Hollywood
A Beautiful Behind
American Booty
Buttman & Throbbin
Backdoor Adventures of Beaver and Butthead
Gulp Fiction
Hump Backed at Notre Dame
Lord of the G-Strings (Big Butt Special Edition)
Star Whores: The Empire Licks Crack
They Came From the Planet Butt
Wonka's Willy and The Fudge Packery
White Men Can't Hump

If you're interested in any or all of these, let me know.  I'll give you a great deal on some or all of them.

Jacky

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To Jacky
From: Elanor

I am not amused.

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To: Elanor
From: Jacky

Elaine,

Hey, I'm not amused either.  After I got fired from my job at the daycare center, I was forced to move back into my mom's basement.  She's one of those religious freaks who thinks her house is "unclean" because of my DVD collection so she's forcing me to get rid of them.  Listen, I'll sell you all 15 for $30.  That's like two bucks a title!  And Lord of the G-Strings is a three disc set, so it's an even better deal.  Let me know!

Jacky

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To: Jacky
From: Elanor

OMG!  I'm not surprised you got fired from your job you fucking perv!  And at a daycare center!  Go away and leave me alone before I report you to the sex offenders list!




Saturday, June 26, 2010

Fun With Omegle--Tech Support Edition

The great thing about Omegle is that there's no telling who's on the other end.  They can say they're any age/gender/location/whatever.  I should know, I'm a little bit of everything when I go down there. 

You: Hello


Stranger: Hi.

You: I really need some help here

Stranger: With whut...?

You: The DVD drive on my laptop won't load myDora the Explorer DVD

Stranger: Okay . . .

Stranger: So . . . Cleaned it?

You: It won't load any of my DVDs

You: tried that

You: I really want to watch my DVD

Stranger: Maybe the file that's on your DVD isn't working on your laptop...

Stranger: Like, WMA doesn't work on my phone.

You: Okay, it's not really Dora the Explorer

Stranger: I figured.

You: It's a porno called Dora the Anal Explorer

Stranger: Ah~Ah.

Stranger: You must REALLY want to watch it then.

You: I can't get any of them to work

You: Spoogebob Square Nuts

You: District 69

You: Alice in Lesbo Land

You: My Cousin Vinny the Dildo Salesman

Stranger: And you don't have a normal DVD player...?

You: I do, but I can't use the regular TV.

You: My mom is watching The View

Stranger: O... kay...

You: Hell, Hannah Montana isn't working either

You: MY mom told me that this was the website for Tech Support

Stranger: Just something to say - do you have any idea that you're talking to a 14 year old girl now...?

You:  Seriously?  14 year-old girls are doing tech support now?

You:  It's okay, I'm a girl too.  I'm 16.

Stranger: Liar

You:  No, you're the liar.  And this is the most unprofessional tech support I have ever recieved.  Is there a supervisor I can speak with?

Stranger: You're a great troll though.

Stranger: Funny too.

Stranger: Congrats.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.