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Showing posts with label hump. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hump. Show all posts

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Brazil Butt Lift



Original ad:


Wanted: Brazil Butt Lift DVDs
If you have any unused or used in great condition, please get back to me. I'll pay up to $40. Thanks.

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To: Elanor
From: Jacky

Hi there,

I saw your ad and I'd love to help.  I don't have the exact title you're looking for, but I have quite a collection of similar DVDs that I'm looking to sell.  I was just going to sell them on E-bay, but if you're interested I can send you my list of titles and see if there are some you might be interested in.

Jacky Maille

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To: Jacky
From: Elanor

Jacky,
Thanks for answering my ad! You're the only person who's replied to me lol!  I'm looking for that specific DVD set, Brazil Butt Lift.  Send me your list and I'll see if theres any that I can use or maybe use as christmas presents as long as there in good condition.

Elanor Rxxxxxx

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To: Elanor
From: Jacky

Elanor,
I can assure you that all my DVDs are in pristine condition.  I'm very proud of my collection but circumstances beyond my control are forcing me to part ways with them.  Here's my list:

Puerto Rican Big Booty Shake
Big, Black, and Beautiful
Big Booty Lesbos in Hawaii
Big Booty Lesbos in Hollywood
A Beautiful Behind
American Booty
Buttman & Throbbin
Backdoor Adventures of Beaver and Butthead
Gulp Fiction
Hump Backed at Notre Dame
Lord of the G-Strings (Big Butt Special Edition)
Star Whores: The Empire Licks Crack
They Came From the Planet Butt
Wonka's Willy and The Fudge Packery
White Men Can't Hump

If you're interested in any or all of these, let me know.  I'll give you a great deal on some or all of them.

Jacky

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To Jacky
From: Elanor

I am not amused.

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To: Elanor
From: Jacky

Elaine,

Hey, I'm not amused either.  After I got fired from my job at the daycare center, I was forced to move back into my mom's basement.  She's one of those religious freaks who thinks her house is "unclean" because of my DVD collection so she's forcing me to get rid of them.  Listen, I'll sell you all 15 for $30.  That's like two bucks a title!  And Lord of the G-Strings is a three disc set, so it's an even better deal.  Let me know!

Jacky

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To: Jacky
From: Elanor

OMG!  I'm not surprised you got fired from your job you fucking perv!  And at a daycare center!  Go away and leave me alone before I report you to the sex offenders list!




Sunday, September 19, 2010

Well-Loved Ottoman

Original ad:


I'm looking for an upholstered ottoman with a max width of 28 inches to put next to my couch.
Please only e-mail me if you have a picture attached.
Thanks!

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To: Otto
From: Jacky Maille

Hi there,

I have an ottoman that I'm looking to get rid of. You might say it's been well-loved.  It's yours for ten bucks.  You can pick it up today if you're interested.  Also, I can do better than just a picture.  I'm attaching a video of me and my boys showing the many uses this ottoman has.



Let me know if you're interested.

Jacky Maille

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To: Jacky
From: Otto

Fuck you faggot.  And your faggot friends too.  Don't ever contact me anymore.

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To: Otto
From: Jacky

I can assure you that the ottoman has been tested for herpes and it's clean.  On second thought, I've decided not to sell it.  I just can't bear the thought of my ottoman in someone else's house getting humped by some stranger who doesn't love it the way me and my homeboys do.  Sorry to waste your time.

Jacky "Pipelayer" Maille