Justin Bieber - Agent of Satan

Original Ad:
Looking for Justin Bieber Tickets for Gwinnett
If you have reasonably priced tickets and are unable to go I would like to find 2-4 tickets for the Aug show. 

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To: Mandi
From: Jacky

I have two seats in section 106, Row C, on the aisle. I had originally bought them for me and my girlfriend, but she decided to cheat on me after I bought the tickets. So I have no use for them.

Jacky

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To: Jacky
From: Mandi

Sorry to hear that. How much do you want for them?
Thanks
Mandi

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To: Mandi
From: Jacky

I payed $72 for both. I was thinking I might still go though, so that's one ticket? $36?? I dunno...math is hard.

Jacky

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To: Jacky
From: Mandi

Hi Jack,
have you decided if you are going to make it to the show yet? If you decide to sell the tickets please let me know.
Thanks

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To: Mandi
From: Jacky

Oh absolutely not!
After speaking with my youth minister, not only am I going to burn my tickets, but I'm also going to destroy my t-shirts, posters and CDs. Justin Bieber is an agent of Satan!! If you play his music backwards, you can clearly hear him saying "Drink Blood, The Devil owns us all"! My youth minister also told me that Justin Bieber sacrifices baby sheep to the devil before every show and drinks their blood. He also comes from Canada, which is mentioned in the Bible as the birthplace for the Antichrist. It's in Revelations!!!

Please reconsider wanting to go as Justin Bieber is an agent of the Dark Lord and wants to turn your soul to him. My church youth group will be protesting the show outside the arena that night. I encourage you to join us!

Praise the Lord!
Jacky Maille

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To: Jacky
From: Mandi

Thats not true is it? I mean I'm a Christian too and I don't think Justin Bieber is bad. Theres alot worse out there and I definitely don't believe the part about the antichrist coming from canada. Im just interested in getting tickets for the concert. If you won't sell them just tell me

thanks

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Uh-oh...mom decided to get in on the act...
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To: Jacky
From: Becky Axxxx
Dear Jack,
I don't know who you think you are but you have made my 16 year-old daughter very upset. After reading your emails at first I thought you were trying to ask her out on a date (THE ANSWER IS NO!, SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND!!!) then you started spouting out all that garbage about Justin Bieber being Satanic. I can assure you that we are a christin household and Justin Bieber is perfectly innocent for my children. I don't know how old you are or what church you go to but you are definitely WAY OFF BASE! I hope you are happy with yourself, you have made a teenage girl cry.
Get a life,
Becky Axxxx

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To: Becky
From: Jacky

Dear Becky,
First of all, I can assure you that I was not asking your daughter out on a date! Second of all, if you are so concerned about your daughter's e-mail interactions, then why in the blue hell do you let her place ads on Craigslist? Craigslist is one of the slimiest websites on the internet. I'm 17 years old and I have two kids, and I can assure that when they're old enough, they won't be going to ANY websites without my supervision. Thirdly, how dare you question my religion! Did Jesus not say "Do not judge or you too will be judged" The Bible also says (somewhere in the back): "Behold the son of the Devil and his Maple Leaf." I would encourage you to attend our protest at the Arena as well on the night of the show, if you are as Christian as you say you are.

Jack E. Maille

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To: Jacky
From: Becky

Youre 17 and HAVE 2 KIDS?!!1? and you claim to be a cristian??? LEAVE MY FAMILY ALONE and dont email us again.
Becky Axxxx

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To: Becky
From: Jacky

I'll leave your family alone trust me. But you better keep your kids off Craigslist. The Devil Himself lurks there.

Jacky

Tickets For Sale

Original Ad:
WANTED: Braves Tickets To Today's (6/20) Day Game - Golden Moon Level - $80
I need 4 tickets in the Golden Moon Casino Level to today's Braves game against the Royals. Please let me know in the next 2-3 hours if you have such tickets available.
Many thanks!
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Date: 6/21/2010
To: Derek Nxxxx
From: Jacky Maille

I have 4 tickets for the GMC Pavillion in section 332 that I ended up not using for the 6/20 game. I paid $28 each for them, but I'll let you have them for $10 each.


Jacky

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Date: 6/22/2010
To: Jacky
From: Derek

Yeah thanks but no thanks.  I don't need tickets to a game that already happenned.  That is pretty stupid if you ask me.

Derek

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To: Derek
From: Jacky

They're still available if you want them.  Your ad said you were looking to pay $80 and I'm offering them to you for half that!  Plus, the Braves won 8-5!  That's pretty impressive considering how much donkey ass they suck.  I was going to go, but I had to go bail my Granny out of jail again (her 3rd DUI this year). 

If you're interested, I also have two tickets to the WWE Royal Rumble at the Philips Arena from last January.  That was a pretty historical event!  Edge won! The seats were on the floor, third row behind Jerry "The King" Lawler.  I'll let you have both of them for $20.

What do you say, Derk, do we have a deal?

Jacky

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To: Jacky
From: Derek

I don't think so.  I shoulda taken that ad down after the next day.  Tickets for gmaes the next day are worthless.  Also I'm not a wrestling fan.  All that stuff is fake.

Derek

Ps. The Braves don't suck, theyre in first place you moran.

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To: Derek
From: Jacky

Deren,

My mistake about the Braves sucking.  What I meant to say is that their fans suck gorilla turds.  And how dare you call professional wrestling fake?  Of course it's real!  Why do you think it's called "Professional" wrestling?  I'd rather sit in an arena full of classy wrestling fans than hanging out with a bunch of drunk methed-up rednecks at Turner Field any day.

Anyway, I'll take the Rumble tickets off the table.  I'll let you have the four Braves tix for $35 total, plus I'll throw in a boarding pass from my last trip to St. Thomas for free.

Give me your # and we'll get together.

Jacky

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To: Jacky
From: Derek

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE1 FUCK YOU i dont want your uselles fucking shit!

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To: Derek
From: Jacky

Whoa! Settle down there Dorian! I was just messing around with you dude!  You know that's what us guys do!  Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I was able to get my original asking price for the Braves tickets from someone else. Sorry about that, but like I said earlier, my Granny's in a heap of trouble and I need all the cash I can get.  Anyway, if you're interested my Uncle Louie has a couple tickets for the Justin Bieber show that was on the 19th.  I'm sure I can get you a good price. 
Let me know!

Your good buddy,
Jacky