Goth Chick

You know, I have dated quite a few goth chicks in my time.  Sure, they're freaky little minxes but they're almost all psychotic.  I saw this ad on Craigslist where the dude was looking for a goth chick to be a model (yeah right...) and I just thought to myself, "Man, this guy has no idea what he's getting into looking for a goth chick."  So I decided to show him just how insane they can be.  


Original ad:

Goth Model Wanted
Seeking female models with a goth / alt look interested in doing paid modeling. 
Send recent photosample with e-mail reply. 


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To: Paul
From: "Aurora Despayre" aka Jacky Maille


Greetings to you

I am a goth chick and I will be your model
I have the body of a 23 year-old
But I am really a 266 year old vampyre
Darkness clings to my eternal soul

So how much does this modeling gig pay, anyway?

Aurora Despayre

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To: Aurora
From: Paul

Sounds good. I'm intrigued. Pay depends. I like doing a mix of clothed and nude shots. Do you have a photosample you can send? -Paul


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To: Paul
From: Aurora

I once knew a Paul 100 years ago

He wounded my soul

I photograph best nude lying on a bed of black rose petals

with the light of the full moon shining on my pale skin

Enclosed is a recent photograph of me

taken by my the famous DJ Formaldehyde.

I'm available every night after the sun goes down.

Aurora Despayre

 

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To: Aurora

From: Paul

I'm definitely interested  - located in Atlanta...

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To: Paul

From: Aurora

Oh I'm sure you are interested, Paul the Photographer!

I'm sure you just want to have your way with me.

I am not your sexual object nor anyone else's!

Quit being a troll on Craigslist you perverted orangutan!

Whatever.  I'm just going to cut myself.  I'll be at the mall with my friends talking about being misunderstood and bats.

Death to your soul,

Aurora Despayre

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To: Aurora

From: Paul

That's different - will give you that. 

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To: Paul

From: Aurora

I love you.

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Take Pictures of Me

Original Ad:
Need female to take sexy pictures of me to send to my girlfriend.
Compensation: $50
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My sister and I are both semi-professional photographers and we might just be what you're looking for. We take digital photos simultaneously from two different angles, and combine them on our MacBook pros for a really cool effect. We've been wanting to try erotic photography for some time now. I think your girlfriend will be very pleased.
Please reply soon. I hope you're as excited about this as we are ;)

Jacky & Emma
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From: ron xxxxxx
To: Jacky Maille
Sent: Wed, May 26, 2010 7:00:31 AM
Subject: Re: Photographer needed--We can help!


Hi
I am interested in viewing one of the pictures that you have combined......seems like a cool ideas.
Ron
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From: Jacky Maille
To: Ron xxxxxx

Ron,
Okay, so maybe I exaggerated. But seriously...How much photography are you really expecting? Aren't you more interested in doing other things while in sexy poses? My sister does have a polaroid if you really do want to take a picture or two. ;)

Jacky
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Re: Photographer needed--We can help!
From: ron
To: Jacky Maille

Yes I'm interested in doing other things. Lets hook up! Are you also in the buford area?

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Re: Photographer needed--We can help!
From: Jacky Maille
To: ron

Close enough to Buford! I hope you're into 300lb babes!
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From:Jacky Maille
To: ron

Ronnie?
We haven't heard back from you yet. We're still interested and very excited. We took a picture just for you.



Hit us up with your #!!!

Jacky & Emma
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Re: Photographer needed--We can help!
From: Jacky Maille
To: ron

Hey Robbie!
We still haven't heard back from you. My sister really needs that 50 bucks to buy more insulin. Please e-mail back with your #.

Jacky