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Showing posts with label Jamaican. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jamaican. Show all posts

Saturday, November 13, 2010

SNAKES!!!

Original ad:


need someone to come and remove some baby snakes not sure what type but they need to be gone i have killed 2 and theses a nest of them
not sure what type they are but they need to go
i have found some pictures online and kinda looks like a rat snake but im not taking any chances

if u want a snake or many snakes come get them
picture attached is what it looks like just a little smaller 

























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To: Summer
From: Jacky




The snake in that picture is a Jamaican Brown snake.  They don't get very big, but they're some of the deadliest on the planet if they bite you!  They're native to the island of Jamaica, but have come to the continent via drug smuggling ships.  If you have a whole nest of them in your house, you need to get the hell away from there ASAP!  Call the State Wildlife Commission.  Believe me, I am an expert on snakes, and I know that a nest of those guys will take over your property and then your whole neighborhood.  Above all else, please be careful!

Jacky Maille
Snake Expert

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To: Jacky
From: Summer

ive killed 2  so far and their is more back there but I looked it up and to me they appear to be a rat snake. I mean if they are what you said then I am terrified because I have a 4 year old that isnt scared of them. I dunno ill take a pic of the last one i killed and send it to you and let you see what it looks like.

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To: Summer
From: Jacky

Summer,

Just be careful.  Jamaican Brown snakes hunt in packs.  You really should just get the hell out of there.  Seriously.

Jacky 

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To: Jacky
From: Summer

i call bullshit on u my husband says jaimacan brown snakes arent poisonous.

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To: Summer
From: Jacky

Slummer,

Who are you going to believe, your husband who was dumb enough to hold a snake he couldn't identify just so he could take a picture?  Or me, a world-renowned snake expert?
So be it.  I'll be sure to come to your funerals and let your surviving friends and family know that I tried to save you.   

May your god have mercy on your souls,

Jacky Maille
Lord of the Snakes

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To: Jacky
From:  Summer

ufck u they were rat snakes u asshole!

climbin' in yo windows, sssnatching yo people up!


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Jamaican Nanny




Original Ad:


Jamaican Nanny NEEDED ASAP!!
Hi, Im looking for a Jamaican live-in nanny that has a VISA already. I have three children which are 1,2,&4 of age. I need the get someone up here before the end of the month. The pay would be $180.00per week+room and board, food and a cell phone....Thanks!

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To: Anna
From: Jacky

Good day to you ma'am!

My name is Jacky.  I saw your ad looking for a nanny for the young children.  I have worked with the many children for 16 years and recently left the job at a local daycare center.  I am sorry to say that I am not from Jamaica but I am from Charlotte Amalie in St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands. So I am already a citizen, but with the same Island attitude!

God bless you!

Jacky Maille

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To: Jacky
From: Anna

Dear Jackie,

Thank you for replying to our ad.  Yes we would prefer a Jamaican lady because our last nanny was Jamaican and thats what our children are used to, but Virgin Islands is fine too.  Our lst nanny recently got married and moved to New York unexpectedly and my husband and I work full time with our own exterminator business.

Can you tell me a little more about yourself?  Like how many families have you worked for.  You said you left your last position at a daycare center.  Can you tell me a little about that?  And what sort of philosophies do you have regarding raising children?

If you could get back to us and maybe send a picture and resume would be great.  Thanks Jackie!

Anna Lxxx

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To: Anna
From: Jacky

Ana,

Good to hear from you ma'am!  I tell you how I work with the children.  We kick back, we relax.  No worries.  We sing songs, do crafts like paper folding and rolling.  I worked for several whitey-dem families back home before coming to Atlanta.  The daycare center I worked for lost they license to the state for some reason.  I don't know.  I mind my own business.  I am not nosy.

Anyway, I send you my picture but understand this:  If the question is will I have threesome with you and your husband-man, the answer is no!

'scuse me while I light this spliff...
Jacky

PS.  What kind of cell phone are we talkin', mon?  Cause I don't want no cheap ass Nokia.  I want an i-phone!
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To: Jacky
From: Anna

Thank you for your interest but we have already filled the position. Thank you.

Anna Lxxx